Depending on the world around you to make you happy can be one of the most dangerous decisions in your entire life. Sometimes I wish I could be alone for a little while, just me and my thoughts. I tried this in my room tonght. I sat on the floor with my guitar and closed my eyes. I listened closely to the beautiful sounds that came from the stings, I wished that the music would fill me. Go in through my pores and become part of me, life me up and away from the world. From the saddness and the horrors and worries. But soon enough, I came down from my music high, and found that I was laying on the floor beside my guitar, crying into the night. I cried into my empty house, maybe my cries would break the walls of this broken home. Maybe when the walls came down and this haunted house collapsed it would take me with it, I would just collapse and disappear into nothing. I miss my best friend Kyle, I miss him because he was all that I had left that understand. I miss looking in the mirror and smiling at the girl that stared back at me. I miss telling people that I am happy and genuinly meaning. I wish things could be the way that they were before.
Pain is like a broken arm.
At first it hurts all of the time, theres this constant aching feeling, you can't elude the pain that radiats off of you. You wish so much for it to just go away, heal faster. But it won't.
But over time the arm heals, to the point where it only hurts when someone touches it. You can go days without feeling any drop of pain, and then someone bumps into you and you start to ache again. For a short period of time you get the sharpest pain, and you wonder why in the world this hasn't gone away. But eventually the pain slips away.
That broken arm may cripple you for a while, it makes you more careful, it tells you to take every step with caution.
But eventually, when that cast finally comes off of you your arm is strong again. Everything is better. And you learn a lesson.
Don't worry, to all you fellow bloggers out there, you will be strong again, don't give up yet.
Surviving the different levels of life can be hard, trust me, I understand. I really do. But know that you're never alone. God's grace is standing beside you, holding your hand every step of the way.
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